How to love yourself in your wedding photos? That might sound and feel like an impossible task but, I promise you, it is possible with a little love.
Self Love that is. I struggle with self confidence as much as the next person. I know the silly things I dislike about myself, and it can have a knock on effect to my daily life. It’s not always easy to offer ourselves the same compassion we offer to others. We hand out compliments to friends and family, but rarely offer them out to ourselves. We can be so self critical but it doesn’t have to be this way.
I’m sure you are kind to the person you are about to marry, right? Of course you are! You would never want to undermine the confidence of the person you love. You wouldn’t damage their self worth by focussing on their ‘flaws’. Yet that is what we do to ourselves.
So why do so many of us neglect to extend the same kindness to ourselves? Well there is the constant need to maintain beauty standards, which, quite frankly, are abysmal. A need to comply with an idea of beauty that is forced upon us in magazines, films and of course, social media. We start to believe in a need to be perfect. Throw a wedding the mix, and suddenly there is extra pressure to look beautiful. From the perfect dress to tailored suits, even the decor has some expectations of beauty attached to it. Your photographer will take great shots, but if you really want to love your wedding photos you’re going to have to love your self first. By doing that you will love your wedding photos more than you ever thought possible.
So how are you going to feel confident and badass on your wedding day? The bottom line is you are going to have to get out of your own way! Yes it’s a hard one to read, but we are our own worst enemy . We have to start by taking some control. You are going to have to come to terms with the fact that no one is going to be looking at your arms, your nose, your stretch marks, your wobbly bits, your bony bits or the tooth that isn’t straight. Only you see these things. Yep , just you. You look at your self in the mirror every day when you brush your teeth or get ready for work. That reflection looking back is beautiful, your partner knows , it’s only you who can’t see it.
How to love yourself/ self care
I’ve got a little list of some tips I pass on to my most anxious couples when they book me.
Positive self-talk is a technique where you replace negative thoughts with positive ones. For example, instead of saying “I hate how I look in this dress,” you can say “I love the way this dress makes me feel.” By focusing on positive thoughts, you can boost your self-confidence and feel more comfortable in front of the camera. Sometimes a ‘fake it till you make it’ attitude can really help.
Self-care is also important in building self-confidence. Taking care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally can help you feel more relaxed and confident during your wedding photoshoot. Some self-care practices you can try include getting enough sleep, exercising regularly, practicing mindfulness or meditation, and doing activities that bring you joy and relaxation. I ever used to allow any time for this. there are some great apps available. You could try the CALM app which is packed full of meditations, confidence boosting audios and some great bedtime stories to help you fall asleep. I use this and it really has helped
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On the day of the wedding make sure to take care of yourself by staying hydrated, eating well, and taking breaks when needed. It’s also important to communicate with your photographer if you’re feeling overwhelmed or need a break. I make sure to take my couples off for walks by themselves and I have codes for if they need a quick exit from a situation that is too much to handle.
In addition to practicing positive self-talk and self-care, it can also be helpful to visualise yourself feeling confident and comfortable during the wedding day. Close your eyes and imagine yourself laughing, smiling, and enjoying the moment with your partner. Visualising positive outcomes can help you feel more relaxed and confident when it’s time to take the photos. I know it sounds a bit wishy washy, but manifesting those positive situations really does help. We attract what we think about.
If you really find that your self confidence is at an all time low and there is nothing you can do at home to help, then I would recommend you get into some therapy. I have friends that absolutely swear by it and it can be a really useful too on your journey to self acceptance.
For some more wedding reading head to my other blogs here https://www.sarahcarterphotography.co.uk/elegant-wedding-style/